Disclaimer and License

  1. The computer source code on this website is licensed under an MIT License. All other content is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License .
  2. Anything written on this website, unless specifically stated otherwise, is the opinion of Mr. Koser and not his employer.
  3. No purchase is necessary to participate. If you wish to comment on a post, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and 5 box tops to Corporate Headquarters. No substitutions please.
  4. If you purchased this website without a cover, it has been reported to the publisher as “unsold and destroyed”, and neither author nor publisher have received payment for this website.
  5. This website is provided free of charge to the general public. A 5¢ surcharge is required from the following: Billy the Fish Head, Quasi Llama, McNoodleHaufer, and Benjamin “The Ol’ Bull of the Woods” Kurlowich.
  6. Any use of the phrase “Bob’s your uncle” does not imply that the reader’s biological father or mother has a sibling named “Bob” or a Christian name that can be shortened to “Bob” (including but not limited to Robert, Roberta, Roberto, Robespierre, and Roboto).
  7. Any dates, unless specifically stated otherwise, are *Anno Domini* (sometimes abbreviated ITYOOL), including but not limited to 1776, 1980, and 2008.
  8. If you visited this site seeking information about the goat puppeteer, then you meant to visit briankooser.com.
  9. The cow is not the state bird of Wisconsin.
  10. Mr. Koser understands that American grammar calls for periods (or “full stops”) to be placed inside the ending quotation mark for sentences ending with a quoted phrase, even if that phrase did not originally contain a period or “full stop”. Mr. Koser agrees instead with British grammar that allows the period to be placed outside the ending quotation mark, which he states is “visually clearer and intrinsically more logical”.
  11. Any references to weasels, stoats, martens, ferrets, minks, ermines, or other members of the subfamily Mustelinae can be safely ignored without losing the sense of the text. Contrarywise, all references to the family Anatidae should not under any circumstances, including force majeure, be removed, misconstrued, rationalized, or in any other way modified from the original text.
  12. Mr. Koser does not condone the following actions: cheese juggling, throwing a judicious elbow, and disemvowelling.
  13. İ ❤ ưņἷƈơɗể。
  14. All points following the first two are not valid in the state of California.

Pronunciation Guide